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3 Steps to Finding Your Spiritual Mentor

There comes a point in your spiritual journey when you find yourself in an endless whirlpool of reading books and watching videos. It’s been cool to learn and grow on your own, but it would also be nice to talk with someone who gets it, someone who doesn’t just entertain your “woo woo” musings but rather someone happy to discuss the power of changing your circumstance. 

African Proverb quote


A teacher can be ready to teach at any point in your life, but are you ready to learn? Many can guide you, but where do you want to go? Everyone has advice, but do you feel empowered to take what is needed and leave what is not?

Define Safety

How does your body feel when it’s at ease? How does your mind operate when you are free to wander? Have you felt safe if you cannot identify ease and freedom within your mind and body? Do you know how to create safety within yourself? Looking inward when seeking external guidance may seem backward, but it’s necessary so you don’t end up following the lead of someone clueless or unethical. The person you trust should be able to maintain a safe space to encourage your exploration. Through reflection, you will define safety; through meditation, you will create safety, and as a result, you will have the knowledge and ability to measure safety. 

Practice Patience and Perseverance

What are the basics of your spiritual journey—meditation, spending time in nature, shadow work, etc.? Keep doing those things; you don’t want to halt your growth because you didn't find the right mentor immediately. Build the habit of consistency so that when you connect with someone who steps into the gap, you are ready to grow. 

Open Yourself to Possibilities

Maybe you’ve been looking for someone reputable, kind, and knowledgeable to help you in your journey, and it feels like you keep coming across dead ends or failed starts. Maybe you can’t even fathom that you’ll actually find someone, and if that’s what you’re thinking, then you are correct. I’m not faulting you for having those thoughts; I’m challenging you to disrupt them with the idea of possibility. The idea alone will align you with a timeline when you have the support you desire.


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Seek Within Your Community

Your elders likely aren’t on TikTok, but they are a phone call away. The wisdom isn’t only in podcasts; it is also at local gatherings, ceremonies, or community events where you might meet someone who resonates with you. Don’t overlook family traditions or community leaders who embody the spiritual values you admire - joy, freedom, patience, care, etc. Be open to encountering wisdom in unexpected places. Sometimes, the most profound guidance comes from those who have walked unconventional paths.

Use Modern Tools

While technology may seem far from the spiritual, it can connect you with like-minded individuals. Look for online communities, forums, or social media groups dedicated to spiritual growth and mentorship. Virtual connections can be powerful, especially if geographical limitations are a barrier.


Experts are everywhere, but that doesn’t mean they are meant to teach. There are teachers everywhere, but it doesn’t mean you’re meant to be their student. 

Siddhartha Mukherjee quote

Observe for Authenticity

Look at how they live. When interacting with them in real life or online, do you feel like you are getting their representative? Do they present a perfect version of themselves, or do they allow you to see more of their personality—are they goofy, vulgar, chill, etc.? Removing their spiritual expertise, would you genuinely want to be around this person for who they are authentically? 

Seek Integrity and Compassion

A good mentor shows empathy, patience, and a nonjudgmental attitude. They should respect your journey and not impose their beliefs on you, but they will not allow you to do things that contradict your goals, values, and vision. They will challenge you, hold you accountable, and make room for you to grow.

Evaluate Their Experience

Time matters. You may not find someone with 30+ years of experience, but they shouldn’t be just starting their journey - that’s a peer. Peers are invaluable as they can deeply resonate with the challenges you’re currently facing, but since they are in the thick of it with you, they cannot advise you similarly. Time means a person has had time to practice, fail, and succeed. Time can lead to a plethora of experiences that will deepen their insights. While not always necessary, a mentor with years of practice and experience in their spiritual path can offer profound insights. Learn their story to discover how they got here today.


Book a free consultation with me to see if we are the right fit for your spiritual needs. Together, we can explore your aspirations, challenges, and the guidance you seek. 


Ask for Guidance

Don’t hesitate to reach out to those who inspire you. Be honest and direct, expressing your desire to learn and grow with their guidance. Genuine students often attract genuine teachers. This person may or may not be able to teach, but they may point you in the direction you need.


Finding your advisor can leave you starry-eyed and in utter fandom because you are excited to have someone you trust help you in your journey and because you —hopefully —respect them! As the stars in your eyes shrink, it’s important to ensure you maintain your admiration and grow your respect. 

James Comer quote

Meaningful Conversations

Share your experiences and be open about your spiritual aspirations and challenges. They can’t fully help you if they don’t fully understand what is going on in your life and journey. This relationship is built on mutual respect and understanding, gained through regular communication to strengthen the connection.

Be a Student

If you haven’t been in school for quite some time, this one may be a bit tricky for you. If you are in school, this may give you a bit of pause as you think of your relationship with school and teachers. No matter where you find yourself, one of life’s most important roles is being a student. When done with humility and excitement, the reward for your curiosity is new opportunities, new experiences, and a newer you. 

Offer Gratitude

This person gives you their time, energy, and failures as lessons. Even if you are paying for their services, the value you gain is worth more than what you are paying. A genuine mentor can truly change your life for the better. Appreciating their work, effort, time, and teachings —through words, actions, or even small tokens of gratitude —allows this relationship to be mutually beneficial and rewarding. 


If you are looking for someone to help steer your spiritual journey in the right direction, drop a comment, letting us know where you are in that process. Are you at prepare, identify, or build? What are you working on?


Integrate Teachings

Coaching only works with consistent application. Do you want to know a bunch of facts, or do you want to gain tools and skills to transform your life? Regularly practicing is the difference between these two things. If not, you are simply wasting everyone’s time - including yours. Practice gives you information so you can later ask questions and lessen your dependency on this person for answers. Practice gives you the gift of connecting more deeply with your spirit. Apply the learnings so you can get out of your way and arrive at the timeline where you are freer, more creative, more compassionate, and more magickal.


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